I got made redundant yesterday; here’s why I’m not angry.

So yeah, yesterday I went through something I’m sure a lot of people have been through; I got made redundant. I hate that phrasing, it makes it sound like I’m completely useless and irrelevant which I suppose to the company I worked for I kind of am now. I was going to write this post yesterday but I thought it would be best to give it a day for me to get my feelings on the matter in order before writing them down.

Now to start with I feel it’s important to mention that when they sat me down, my two (ex) bosses were very clear that the problem was within the company and not with me. The company are making some big internal changes and they let all of the new sales hires go. In fact I was made to feel very good about myself and they both said they would give me a glowing reference should I need one and they would help me get a new job if it was in their power. They also asked me to keep in touch and that they were sad to see me go, which I suppose sounds like the sort of thing you have to say when firing someone but as most of you reading this won’t know the people I’m talking about I will say that I felt it was genuine, at least genuine enough. During my short time there, I was given a lot of support for things that weren’t necessarily related to my job, they didn’t have to give me that and I’m very grateful.

When it got to the part of the conversation where it was my turn to talk, I thanked them both. As many problems as there were, it was a great first job to have and a great experience for me in the world of work. I learned a hell of a lot in that job. The other grads that came to work there at the same time as me all had degrees in business or related subjects whereas mine was in psychology, when I first started I felt that might be hindrance but actually it meant I picked up everything with fresh eyes and I kept up with the others well. At the start I had very little idea of how businesses were run and due to the nature of the job I now have a lot more insight into the way sales processes and marketing processes work in lots of different kinds of businesses. I also learned lots of little things, how to use a mac (I had literally never used one before I worked there). I got over my millenial fear of talking on the phone, even to people high up in companies.

Part of the reason I’m not angry is because I already had the inkling that sales wasn’t a job I wanted to be in long-term. Sales can be really fun and as I said, it was a great first job but I don’t think it’s for me in the long run. I am actually very excited to try something new and hopefully this experience will have set me up well for my next challenge. Obviously there’s a little more pressure on me now to find something quicker but maybe this will be the motivation I need.

I mentioned just now that there were problems in the job and to be perfectly honest I could write lots of articles detailing them but I don’t want to. I don’t feel it’s right to highlight the problems that I had, especially when it’s only been a day and I am still in shock and I am still feeling anxious as I don’t know my next steps. I feel it would be in bad taste to go through the problems, especially as some of them are personal and not necessarily professional. It’s not my place to say these things and, well, they’re not my problem anymore.

Having had this sprung on me I do feel a little shell shocked, I do feel a little betrayed, I do feel a little hurt. But I also feel excited, motivated and ready for whatever comes next. And I definitely don’t feel angry.